If you read this website regularly, you know few things annoy me more in writing than unnecessary words that add no meaning to a sentence (see previous posts on “would,” “that,” etc.). I’m currently reading a recently published novel and have recognized in it the overuse of a major offender in this category: “actually.”
I recognized it four times within one page, in fact. And in each of the four instances, the sentence/phrase in question would be stronger if that word was removed. (Even the sound of it is annoying… Don’t you hate people who use “actually” a lot when speaking? Or is that just me?)
The principle is simple: Search for the word in your manuscript. Each time it comes up, try deleting it. Then read the sentence again and see if the meaning has changed. If not, congratulations! You’re one step closer to the Perfect Economy of Words. Example:
BEFORE: Serena didn’t share her brother’s bitterness. She had actually spent a lot of time with their father as a child.
AFTER: Serena didn’t share her brother’s bitterness. She had spent a lot of time with their father as a child.
Anything missing from the revised sentence? “Anything” can be something subtle, because, of course, subtle changes in meaning are important. But in this case, I don’t see a difference. The word “actually” often connotes a sense of surprise at the statement, i.e., “We wouldn’t have expected this to be the case, but it is.” But in our example, we already know that Serena’s brother is bitter about not spending time with their father, so we don’t need “actually” to tell us that her own experience is different or unexpected.
The usual caveat: “actually” has its place, just as any properly used word does. Example:
BEFORE: Tom gazed at his parents’ house. It had actually survived the recent blizzard intact.
AFTER: Tom gazed at his parents’ house. It had survived the recent blizzard intact.
In this case, the word “actually” does change the sentence’s meaning. We get the sense that Tom is surprised the house survived, which implies that it is old or run-down or not well cared for… all sorts of possibilities. Take out that word, and all we know is that a house didn’t happen to be damaged by a blizzard.
Use your “Find” tool wisely, writers, and you may actually find it to have been worth the effort.
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February 26th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
This page is a bit messed up, but I got the gist. Much food for thought. In fact, I think I have found new blog to keep up with! Found you through Ravelry. Thanks for sharing.
February 26th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Now that I submitted my first comment, the page problems have resolved…fyi.