Once in a while I am called upon to edit or proofread a manuscript that makes a particular mistake with great frequency, and I’m reminded to tell you all to avoid aforementioned mistake. Today I am helping to rescue an author who had difficulty knowing when to include or omit the ever-present but little-considered word “that.”
I refer to “that” not when used as a pronoun (”That was a great party”), adjective (”I prefer that website”), or adverb (”He wasn’t that fat”). Usage in those cases is more straightforward, although the word can perhaps be replaced by a more interesting or descriptive one.
The more troublesome function of “that” is as a conjunction, usually introducing a subordinate clause. It’s troublesome because in many cases, it’s perfectly acceptable to use “that”—and perfectly acceptable not to. You should be able to recognize when it makes a difference, and why.
Example:
Peter told Paula that she looked beautiful.
Peter told Paula she looked beautiful.
Economy of words being important to me, I would choose the latter sentence. It conveys the same information without being unclear. However, eliminating “that” can sometimes affect the clarity of a sentence, and while you’re being your own editor, clarity should trump even the economy of words. When the clause being introduced follows a transitive verb, the introductory “that” can often prevent a misreading of the subject of the clause as the object of the verb, as in this example:
She trusted that Ken had been faithful.
She trusted Ken had been faithful.
In this case, go with the first sentence. Why? While the meaning of the second sentence will be clear to most readers by the time they arrive at the period, they will first find themselves reading this: “She trusted Ken.” And we don’t want our readers to be confused for even the millisecond that it takes them to get from “Ken” to “had.” Because confusion creates distance.
This is another one of those little tricks you can use to address both wordiness and lack of clarity in your writing. Look for “that” when you’re rewriting, and make sure it’s there when it should be and gone when it’s unnecessary. And that will be that.
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July 9th, 2007 at 6:07 am
Which or that
Which and that are both relative pronouns: they introduce relative clauses. The main difference between them is that while which can introduce both restrictive relative clauses: The zebra which the lion picked on was clearly sick, and non-restrictive relative clauses: The zebra, which lives in southern Africa, is related to the horse, that can introduce only restrictive relative clauses: The zebra that the lion picked on was clearly sick.
© From the Hutchinson Encyclopaedia.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:17 am
As always you give useful information. I’m doing a re-read of my work and searching “that”.
October 25th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
After hearing this from another source a few months ago, I went through one of my longer stories, using the “find” and “replace” tools in Microsoft Word to help me find all the “that”s. When each one was highlighted, I would read the sentance and decide whether it was necesary or not. It blew my mind how many unnecesary “that”s I found, and was really eye-opening. I encourage any other writer to do it, too.